Life · Writing

Boredom.

When I get bored, I sometimes get creative. Generally this creativity comes out as a story, and that story usually involves a game I’m currently in.

Lately, this creativity has manifested as self-publishing my poetry, adjusting the theme of this blog yet again, starting my own CafePress shop (link at right), and attempting to start an online reading/writing circle with some friends. All this despite the flock of muses supposedly following me around. Actually, going scattershot like that makes me think they are behind it.

For a short while I took quizzes on okCupid.com (my username is, of course, Lasairian), but for the time being that has lost its amusement. (I’m not going to post any of my results here because I wish to keep this journal distinctly different from my defunct LiveJournal.) Earlier today, I sent an e-mail to a LiveJournal user whose user information page states that he has serious contempt for Christianity, asking him why. That’s not truly boredom, however, but genuine curiosity.

Oh, I forgot. I’ve also expanded the number of genres in my Netflix queue. Now I have movies ranging from incredibly stupid horror to foreign dramas to thrillers VeggieTales and Ed, Edd n Eddy (I love Edd). Until I watched “Wages of Sin” (the 2006 horror version, which is reprehensible), my viewing habits were limited. That movie and looking at the GIGO principle through faith have encouraged me to broaden my horizons and take in healthier fare. (Ed, Edd n Eddy might not fit everyone’s bill, but I believe that laughter is important to a good life, too, and I love those idiots.)

In the midst of this, I’ve come up with two new pieces for GH — Who am I living for, and Where do you think you’re going? The latter piece is going to tackle a question I’ve long struggled with, the “Do you know where you’re going when you die?” question. The answer should be simple; it should be, “Why yes, I’m going to heaven.” For me, the answer is usually, “I am hoping I am going to heaven.” The word “hoping” is the killer, and it presents problems all by itself, like “Why am I only hoping? Why is my faith not strong enough that I know? Am I not trusting God enough to do what He says, or is it my perception of myself as being unworthy and the sneaking suspicion that I simply will never measure up?”

Apparently, I can’t decide if I am saved by faith, works, or predetermined to pass/fail. It is something I’ve struggled with for a very long time, and expect to continue to wrestle with, and that doesn’t make me feel any better, because I’ve just stated I think my faith will continue to waver on this issue. Argh.

With the new sections of GH coming to me, though, I’ve realized the truth in something Chris said to me not long ago, that GH might wind up being a lifelong work, not something finished in a few years or months. If that’s the case, then I can stop putting off Adrian until GH is done. Otherwise, I’ll never get him written! And to that end, I’ve worked out a fairly major problem with the plot, namely Why? Why did the central event happen? And how? What led to it?

I’m happy, Adrian’s happy. I get gobs of writing and research.  He gets to exist.

No more boredom!

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