Not me personally, mind you. I haven’t been hiding. I’ve either been at work or at home, doing various things. The hiding in the title refers to what I’ve been doing to myself and others: I’ve been hiding my bad eating habits.
I dislike cooking. I used to say that I hate to cook, but “hate” is a very strong word, and should be used appropriately, for things that a person truly despises. So I say I dislike cooking. I’m not entirely certain why; I’ve never bothered to analyze. I may have simply been born without the right homemaker gene (which would also explain why I don’t like certain types of cleaning, or sewing). It could be because I so seldom have any ideas as to what to cook, and I get frustrated trying to come with something that isn’t the same old thing day after day.
The main cause, and of this I’m certain, is that I’m lazy. So I eat out, much more often than I should. And when I eat out, sadly, I expend great amounts of energy to conceal this fact, from myself and others. Primarily by driving to a franchise that’s quite some distance from my home (using gas), and eating in the car on the way (can’t really see what or how much I’m eating), and then throwing away the evidence before I walk in the door at home.
I won’t go into detail about how I do this, but it hit me today about how stupid and disrespectful I’ve been, to myself, to God, and to my family. It hit me today as I was eating a McChicken from McDonald’s, which to me are peppery, and as I thought about what I might drink to cool my mouth, I realized that the only thing I had to drink with me was the diet drink I had taken to work with me. Cool, chocolate-y, weight loss-y. I had taken it to work with the best intentions of drinking it so I can work to curb my appetite, take control of my caloric intake, lose weight, and…and…McChicken sandwiches are really, really peppery.
I felt so, so stupid. I also felt compelled to write this blog entry about it, as a way of public confession, and thus as a way of keeping this realization in my mind, since every time I open my browser (Firefox, whoo!), my blog is my home page, and I’ll see this post (until I write a few more, anyway).
And now if you’ll excuse me, I need to start dinner for my family. I’m going to have the poor, neglected diet drink. They are pretty good. And not peppery in the slightest.