I’m trying to take an honest assessment of myself and my life.
I’ll list what I view as the negative aspects first, since a) they’re what I tend to focus on, sadly, and b) I want to end this post on a positive note.
A) I, according to my bathroom scale, currently weigh 239 pounds. This is ridiculous. Since high school, I’ve put on 100 pounds. And I have one clear place to put my blame: Myself. I lead a sedentary lifestyle and have made no real effort to change it; I dislike cooking and eat out far too often (see previous post, Hiding). Furthermore, often as not when I do cook and eat at home, I’m likely eating something not very healthy, or too much of whatever it is.
B) I am 33 years old, and have a temporary job. A contract position. I haven’t used my hard-earned college degree in nearly 10 years, and given its field — newspaper journalism — it’s unlikely I will be again. I don’t have a career, or even a job that I could even semi-count on being there at the end of the year, since I know the contract ends in September. I apparently still don’t really know what I want to be when I grow up.
I have a job, and a good one. Vangent pays well, and they have good benefits. (Click here for current job listings around the country.) Sure, my job may sometimes stress me out — and that’s actually an understatement — but most jobs do. Yes, it’s a contract position, but future events could include my being hired on as a regular, full-time employee. In the meantime, I’m being realistic and sending out applications to other places, in case that doesn’t happen.
I have a good marriage to a wonderful man — almost nine years next Wednesday — and we have two beautiful, healthy girls. We have two working cars and a nice yellow house, complete with various furnishings and un-killable spearmint in the front flower bed. Chris has a good job, Az loves school, and Jordan is a complete ham. I mean angel!
I’ve got nothing to complain about, so I’m going to try to stop. My crazy job is my row to hoe at this point in my life, not an albatross. I can talk to career counselor people at the local university; I can follow through with my earlier idea of trying to get a Masters of Library Science degree and become a librarian.
As for my weight, like I said, I have myself to blame, and myself to fix this. I can and will get off my duff and get exercise, and change my eating habits. I’ve checked out the excellent The Clothesline Diet from the library.
I’m 33. I have, in all seriousness, a wonderful life. I’m going to start looking at the glass as being more than half full, instead of half empty, work on improving my physical health, and give aid and assistance to those who have less and need more.
It’ll take work, not magic like I’ve alluded to in this post title. But alterations need to be made. And so they shall be, and I will be happier for them. To celebrate, in a way, I’m going to finish the section on changes I started a while ago for Getting Hammered. Then perhaps I’ll move onto the sections regarding giving and helping others, and cherishing…