So for those of you who don’t know, Chris lost his job.

Since then, we’ve applied for unemployment, Healthwave and WIC, and he’s been doing job applications. (Quick aside: I had an interview today, yay!)

However, we’ve also been talking about how this might be a sign that it’s time to move on, perhaps to another place. To that end, we’re thinking about Salina. There are positives to this idea, the biggest being that Salina is much closer our respective families — Russell and Wichita. The girls would be able to see their grandparents more often. Also, Salina is a more affordable place to live.

We don’t have any real roots in Lawrence. We’ve got friends here, but we don’t see them often, and the girls and family should come first. My sister lives in Kansas City, so it would be rotten to live far away. I love my sister; she’s a wonderful person, and Azrael and Jordan enjoying visiting their aunt. I hate disappointing her or hurting her feelings. However, if we are being led to Salina, at least it’s only about three hours from Kansas City, and trips to KC are a family tradition (Dad is from KC).

Ever since we’ve had this idea, I’ve been feeling oddly untethered, unconnected. It’s helped me deal with stress tremendously, but at the same time, it’s very strange. It hit me hardest when I went to Baldwin City on business. As I was leaving Lawrence, zipping past the Wal-Mart and car lots, I had this sudden realization that it…just…wasn’t…important.  Eventually, all will be washed away. I thought about the natives of this land, and how they likely thought their way of life would just go on, until strangers arrived from the east (Europe). I thought about how during ancient times, most of Kansas was a lake. Things change.

This isn’t to say that we’re not trying to stay here. Not so. Chris is looking for jobs, and I’m still hunting for a permanent position.

We’re just thinking and questioning, and praying.

And thinking about letting go, and moving on.

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