You know you’re a parent when…

— You’ve had to clean toothpaste off of carpet.

— You’re in your grown-up clothes, at your grown-up job, and you realize the jaunty tune you’re humming is, say, the theme from “Johnny and the Sprites.”

— You haven’t seen any adult programming or movies in a long time, but you can recite entire “Blue’s Clues” shows.

— A laundry challenge to you isn’t getting wine off a white shirt, but rather Kool-Aid off the futon.

— You tell other grown-ups that you have to go potty.

— Something frustrates you, and the worst epithet you come up with is “Oh, bother.”

— You have to consciously think of what to talk about with non-parents.

— You have ever said, “Please don’t put cheese in your nose.”

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