You know you’re a parent when…
— You’ve had to clean toothpaste off of carpet.
— You’re in your grown-up clothes, at your grown-up job, and you realize the jaunty tune you’re humming is, say, the theme from “Johnny and the Sprites.”
— You haven’t seen any adult programming or movies in a long time, but you can recite entire “Blue’s Clues” shows.
— A laundry challenge to you isn’t getting wine off a white shirt, but rather Kool-Aid off the futon.
— You tell other grown-ups that you have to go potty.
— Something frustrates you, and the worst epithet you come up with is “Oh, bother.”
— You have to consciously think of what to talk about with non-parents.
— You have ever said, “Please don’t put cheese in your nose.”